Uncle!

No, I'm not being pinned to the ground forced into submission so my opponent can hear me say "Uncle!" My fighting days are long over (assuming nothing happens at our hockey game on Sunday). I'm gonna be an uncle! For those of you who know the gender, don't say it. My grandparents aren't aware of what the gender is, and we are trying to keep it that way. Rest assured, I'll post it hear when it happens.

Due date for the mother and father to be is June 12. It's weird. I kind of feel like I'm 17 again at the movie theaters waiting for my first kiss. You know that awkward part where you're sitting there...there's this very cute very attractive girl sitting there and you're thinking of all the millions of ways you can and will screw this up. So the movie ends, you walk out, and she goes home sad because she thinks something's wrong with her.

Okay, enough with the aside. I'll keep you posted as to how everything goes down. I'm quite excited for this whole process.

As for me, what will my purchase be? This awesome organic cotton onesie. Think they'll let the baby wear it? Yeah, I didn't think so. You know first time I watch the baby, baby goes home in this.

One Month Down

I finished the bar one month ago today. About this time, I had a few premium Japanese beers in me (Kirin) and was just picking up the final installment in the Harry Potter series. What have I been up to since then? A whirlwind of activities.

To start off, I skipped church (sinner!) and played in a poker tournament with my twin brother's father-in-law. I placed ninth and netted 7 bucks. The clone placed third and won a handsome sum (you really expect me to remember how much he won? This was like a month ago!). After that I departed for Dallas.

Rest assured, my transportation to Dallas was not too fun. See, while studying for the bar I had forgotten to book my airfare. So, I logged on Southwest and booked my flight in about two minutes. Little did I know what I was in store for.

I flew out of Ontario and had "the hottest flight crew this side of the Mississippi" or so the attractive blond flight attendant informed me. She was right. They were quite attractive and very funny. Ontario to Dallas should be a direct flight, right? Wrong. Ontario to Phoenix (where I met an interesting guy who was bitter about a divorce from his wife and knocked over his beer, breaking the glass, and then running from the bar before paying the tab...something tells me he didn't make it onto his flight) Phoenix to Austin! (Yes, Austin!), and finally Austin to Dallas. While in line in Phoenix I wasn't paying attention (I assumed they announced the flight's destination). While on the plane I learned the plane was headed to Austin, not Dallas--my destination. I pressed the stewardess call button, not once, not twice, but three times. She quickly confirmed my worst fears that yes, I was on the correct flight, and yes, there would be a stop in Austin. Fan-freakin-tastic.

So, Austin to Dallas and I'm finally at my destination. I spent two days in Dallas (really only like 1 and a half). The highlight was the trip to Deely Plaza where JFK was assassinated.

More of my trip to come later...I'm tired now.

Game Time

Taking the Bar tomorrow which is not only arguably the hardest Bar in any state, but also the hardest professional licensing exam in the country. No CPAs, yours is not even close. Try three whole days of testing. I know you might complain about Sarbanes-Oxley but two things: 1.) You brought that upon yourself by not self-regulating 2.) we are tested on Sarbanes-Oxley as well. However, we have so much more information that we have to cover, Sarbanes-Oxley will at the most be one sentence out of the thousands that I will write over the next three days.


Tuesday - Essays then Performance Test. Wednesday 100 Multiple Choice questions in the morning, and 100 in the afternoon. Thursday - Essays then one more Performance Test.

It's game time.

Currently listening to: You're the Best from Karate Kid.

CA Bar in a Nutshell

This is it. As of tonight I now am responsible for every subject that will be tested on the CA bar. Do I know them? No. But BarBri has given me constructive knowledge of them (constructive because I sat through a lecture and played fill in the blanks while a professor from a school I didn't go to read me the law). So what have I learned? I give you the CA bar in a nutshell.

1. If a husband's name starts with H and a wife's name starts with W, there's a 100% chance they will get divorced.
2. Don't name your child with a name that starts with V or D. Danny or Danielle always criminally wrong Victor or Vicky...most likely resulting in the latter's death within a year from the date of the incident (Vince Vaughn is doubly screwed).
   
3. Law is Murphy's law on steroids. As the question is being read, if bar applicant thinks, even for the slightest second, "Okay, I know what happens as long as the contract isn't breached," the rest of the question is magically rewritten so that the contract is breached.
4. The government encourages marriage not only by tax benefits, but by giving married people all sorts of awesome privileges. You get spousal immunity and absolute privilege to defame your neighbors all you want.
5. Adverse Possession is not the sexiest idea in Property law...that title belongs to slayer or killer statutes.
6. If someone enters an installment contract for the purchase of land, they will never EVER complete the contract and own the land.
   
7. Corollary to 2: If someone tries to kill someone and the name does not start with V, the bullet will magically miss the intended target and strike Vicky or Vince.
8. The police always forget to read Miranda.
9. Contracts are never in writing when they should be.
10. Corollary: Contracts are always in writing when they need not be.
11. If a tree falls and injures someone, the person whose name starts with D always takes a chainsaw and cuts down the tree a week later.
12. Bears, Apes, Monkeys, and other fantastic beasts are always really tame and don't pose a threat to anyone.
13. Corollary to 4: If someone is an eyewitness to a crime you committed, pray they are a member of the opposite sex and then marry them.
    
14. Corollary to 1: If H and W get on a plane, drive in a car, or take an exotic trip, they will die simultaneously in a fantastic fireball.
    
15. That old family Bible saying when you were born is given more weight than your testimony saying what your birthday is.
16. A seller of real property always has amnesia resulting in multiple sales of the same piece of property a few months or years apart.
17. Mudflaps will always come in two flavors: straight and curved.
18. A house built close to the boundary line of another lot will always encroach.
19. A juror will always be excused because of their race and/or gender.
20. All garbage dumps will always be limited to that city or state's garbage.
21. A legislator will always defame someone on the Congressional or state floor.
22. If a leasee assigns or subleases, the assignee or subleasee? will never pay rent.
23. A person playing a sport will always be subject to a battery or other intentional tort.

That's all for now. Add more to the comments. I'll also be adding to this list as I accumulate more knowledge.

Stanley Cup!

That's right. The Stanley Cup was at Anaheim Stadium prior to the Angels baseball game this evening.


That's a photo pulled from the Reuters website. I'm in the yellow shirt on the left. Here's the photo I was taking at the time.

That made this evening definitely worth it.