CA Bar in a Nutshell

This is it. As of tonight I now am responsible for every subject that will be tested on the CA bar. Do I know them? No. But BarBri has given me constructive knowledge of them (constructive because I sat through a lecture and played fill in the blanks while a professor from a school I didn't go to read me the law). So what have I learned? I give you the CA bar in a nutshell.

1. If a husband's name starts with H and a wife's name starts with W, there's a 100% chance they will get divorced.
2. Don't name your child with a name that starts with V or D. Danny or Danielle always criminally wrong Victor or Vicky...most likely resulting in the latter's death within a year from the date of the incident (Vince Vaughn is doubly screwed).
   
3. Law is Murphy's law on steroids. As the question is being read, if bar applicant thinks, even for the slightest second, "Okay, I know what happens as long as the contract isn't breached," the rest of the question is magically rewritten so that the contract is breached.
4. The government encourages marriage not only by tax benefits, but by giving married people all sorts of awesome privileges. You get spousal immunity and absolute privilege to defame your neighbors all you want.
5. Adverse Possession is not the sexiest idea in Property law...that title belongs to slayer or killer statutes.
6. If someone enters an installment contract for the purchase of land, they will never EVER complete the contract and own the land.
   
7. Corollary to 2: If someone tries to kill someone and the name does not start with V, the bullet will magically miss the intended target and strike Vicky or Vince.
8. The police always forget to read Miranda.
9. Contracts are never in writing when they should be.
10. Corollary: Contracts are always in writing when they need not be.
11. If a tree falls and injures someone, the person whose name starts with D always takes a chainsaw and cuts down the tree a week later.
12. Bears, Apes, Monkeys, and other fantastic beasts are always really tame and don't pose a threat to anyone.
13. Corollary to 4: If someone is an eyewitness to a crime you committed, pray they are a member of the opposite sex and then marry them.
    
14. Corollary to 1: If H and W get on a plane, drive in a car, or take an exotic trip, they will die simultaneously in a fantastic fireball.
    
15. That old family Bible saying when you were born is given more weight than your testimony saying what your birthday is.
16. A seller of real property always has amnesia resulting in multiple sales of the same piece of property a few months or years apart.
17. Mudflaps will always come in two flavors: straight and curved.
18. A house built close to the boundary line of another lot will always encroach.
19. A juror will always be excused because of their race and/or gender.
20. All garbage dumps will always be limited to that city or state's garbage.
21. A legislator will always defame someone on the Congressional or state floor.
22. If a leasee assigns or subleases, the assignee or subleasee? will never pay rent.
23. A person playing a sport will always be subject to a battery or other intentional tort.

That's all for now. Add more to the comments. I'll also be adding to this list as I accumulate more knowledge.