Just a normal Ralphs Trip

First off, after watching an episode of "Dawg the Bounty Hunter," I have decided to quit law school and become a bounty hunter. It looks like quite a bit of fun and is definitely not a 9-5 office job.

Second, I went to Ralphs. While in the checkout line, an attractive girl who I let cut in front of me pointed out that Owen Wilson was in line next to me. Yes, Owen Wilson from such hits as Wedding Crashers, Zoolander, and other movies that I cannot remember. At first I thought, no that's another surfer hippie. But then he turned, and I saw it. From his nose, I was able to identify that it was him.
I have seen other celebrities before (Sean Penn, Pamela Anderson, etc.), and quite often they do not look much like how they look on TV. Sean Penn looked like a bum. But Pamela Anderson looked quite attractive (Perhaps because I saw her jogging and in workout attire?). Owen Wilson looked pretty much like he did. Maybe younger than what I thought? And definitely shorter. From what I saw, he was purchasing a bag of goldfish (open, he had already begun eating them). I followed him out of the store and he got into a Toyota Prius and drove away. Let's see, if it looks like a hippie, drives like a hippie....yep...it's a hippie.

Guest Speakers

Sigh. Here I am in ethics. I forgot the number one rule of law school is do not show up when there is a guest speaker. And alas, I am sitting here in ethics, friendless. To my left, the seat, with the girl who always answers the question when the professor's prompt finds itself falling on deaf ears, sits empty. To the right, another vacancy. The seat on the right is usually filled with the only guy who dared to ask the professor a question during a review session.

But alas! They have both shown up. Oh joy. I will spend the next one hours watching a powerpoint presentation entitled, "What I wish I had learned in Law School...The best advice I never heard."

I'll update as necessary with funny quotes.

Beard-less

I shaved my beard on Friday. I hadn't posted yet because I wanted to wait to see how I felt about it. Am I sad it's gone? Yes. Am I colder? Yes. Do I miss stroking my chin? Yes. It's sad that it is gone really. I'm sure my two cousins are quite happy to see it go though. Too bad for them I have two weeks of finals that I will not be shaving. So, it just may make another appearance just in time for the holidays.

Anything else new with me? Not really. Just school.

I spoke with a friend who works on the Hill. That conversation and an article I read from Roll Call lead me to believe that November will be a very scary month for Republicans.

Signs, polls, and approval ratings all point to a change--even moreso than the 94 wave that brought the Republicans into the majority. Will the Senate be lost as well? Only time will tell.

Email Awesomeness

So I was going through some past emails and found this gem from a friend. Yeah. It's awesome:

Okay so check this out,

So I always lay on the carpet in front of the TV in the family room, yet since I've been home there have been all these little bugs getting on me. I didn't think much at first but then I looked it up and found out they were ticks. It's only been my mom at home the past 2 weeks (sister at school dad on business) so she never noticed cause she just hung in the Master Bedroom.

At the same time I kept hearing things in our chimney (you know how you can close the chimney so that it doesn't open to the fireplace but is rather just a long closed off cylinder with an opening at the top?). I just thought they were birds flying into the chimney.

Actions Taken:

Today fed up with the ticks and feeling slightly dirty I set off foggers in the house.

Secondly, for some odd reason my house still had an antenna on the roof from like 20 years ago before we had cable. So in my idle state I climbed up on the roof and sawed off the antenna which I felt was attracting the birds into the chimney. I know the thought of me in the middle of the day up on the roof shirtless using my hands to bend, twist, and cut things is a huge turn-on, I'm sure the thought of that little trickle of perspiration down my shoulder blades as I used the hacksaw is as super sexy to you as it is to me.

Third, I took a look down the chimney with a flashlight to find a family of like 4 raccoons living in there (no idea if they can get out)!

Thus, my ticks were a product of raccoons in the chimney that connect to the fireplace in the family room.

Action Items:

Tomorrow I'm calling:

1) The SPCA to get rid of the raccoons
2) A chimney company to get rid of the raccoon excrement and place a chimney cap on the chimney
3) Exterminators

In addition to which I think I am going to scrub myself with steel wool to completely cleanse myself. Have you ever used tweezers on a tick that has been sucking on your body? It explodes and out comes a hefty chunk of your blood, somewhat satisfying... but of course none of you have had this experience b/c unlike me you guys are clean.

Best,

[friend's name]

Cough Cough

Feeling much better now than I was last week. Must be the Campbell's Soup at Hand. Not much new. Oh, I am still growing my beard. It is coming along quite nicely. Here's a picture of me with it. Thoughts on what I should do? My roommate is pushing for me to put gel in it so that all the hair on my head has the "wet" look. It's going to be shaved soon. But I'm thinking of possibly giving myself a chin strap or lightning bolts prior to doing so. Any input that you have would be much appreciated. Unless you are my two cousins who are going to comment and say that I look like a terrorist. No. Or if you are my sister in law and you say I look like the Unabomber. Again, no. Okay...maybe in this picture I do.



Again. Share with me your input.

Rudy Rudy Rudy

Steve Aponavicius is starting tonight's game as the kicker for Boston College against Virginia Tech. Where was Steve a year ago? Steve, with chest and face painted, was in the cheering section for BC. Due to a BC's regular kicker getting suspended, Steve starts his first game football game ever tonight...on national tv. When they gave him football pads, he had to ask the rest of his teammates how to put them on. He's never played an organized football game before. He walked on the team as a sub after another team assistant saw him kicking field goals in the stadium late one night.

Man oh man. What a story. Rudy is the title of the post as I doubt the fans will be able to chant Aponavicius Aponavicius Aponavicius with ease.

M'm! M'm! Good!

Mmmmm....Campbell's Soup at Hand almost makes being sick worthwhile (note I said almost). Man this stuff is good. The best part is the absolute minimum preparation involved in this. Honestly, I'm all for more meals being done like this. I was stoked when General Mills started to do the cereal bar things. If only there were a device that cooled things down quickly...sort of like an anti-microwave. Then you could do the soup at hand and have it be cereal in hand. Sweet.

In other news, those normal Nabisco Saltine crackers that everyone eats when they are sick (or uses in soup or other thing?) now look different. They have some weird texture on them that I am unfamiliar with. They will quite likely not be getting my business again anytime soon. However, again Campbell's, nice work with the Soup at Hand. This stuff was amazing in college and has come to my rescue once again in law school.

Learn something new everyday

I was under the impression that orchestra, symphony, and philharmonic were ways of differentiating what instruments were being used. However, Wikipedia tells me otherwise.

"An orchestra is a musical ensemble used most often in classical music. A small orchestra (about forty players) is called a chamber orchestra.

A full size orchestra (about 104 players) may sometimes be called a "symphony orchestra" or "philharmonic orchestra"; these prefixes do not necessarily indicate any strict difference in either the instrumental constitution or role of the orchestra, but can be useful to distinguish different ensembles based in the same city (for instance, the London Symphony Orchestra and the London Philharmonic Orchestra). A symphony orchestra will usually have over eighty musicians on its roster, in some cases over a hundred, but the actual number of musicians employed in a particular performance may vary according to the work being played, and the size of the venue. A leading chamber orchestra might employ as many as fifty members; some are much smaller than that."

Traficant and Foley

I had lunch with a friend today who was a former page for the U.S. House of Representatives. Of course, our conversation quickly turned to the current situation facing the House of Representatives and their page program. My friend then told me that his two favorite congressmen were James Traficant and Mark Foley.

For those of you who don't know, James Traficant (mug shot seen here....that's right...I said mugshot) is a former Democratic member of the House of Representatives. Common things he is known for include voting for Dennis Hastert as Speaker of the House (despite being a Democrat). For this act the Democratic leadership stripped him of his committee assignments making him the first member of the House in over a century to have no committee assignments (exclusing leadership). He was expelled after being convicted of taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington, DC, and is currently serving out an 8-year prison term scheduled to end in 2010.

So after this whole Foley scandal. My next question to my friend is, who is your third favortie congressman while you worked there?

Golden Tee in my home?

Ho ho baby. Mom and Dad, brother and...well brother...this is what I want for Christmas. Goldten Tee in my house. This will be awesome. I did play it for a short time on my home PC with a mouse. But that is nothing compared to the glory of Golden Tee on a trackball. Once I grow up and have a house, I want to park a full size Golden Tee arcade machine in my garage. Right next to my pool table and pinball machine. I can't wait. But, this machine will keep me happy until that dandy moment arrives. Yes people, my birthday and Christmas are coming up. This would be the best present ever.

Beard Update Oh yeah. It's still growing.

Walk this Way

Yeah. The guy on the right was supposed to be singing as well. Apparently he found something particularly funny.